Scattered Marbles

Summer of No Socks

My summer of socks has died.  I just haven't been able to complete one sock, nevermind a pair.  I do have one almost finished (just at the toe decreases) and while I had that on hold and started the first sock (I always knit  the second socks first, to avoid second sock syndrome), my kittens discovered my needles.  Needless to say, my Brittany Birches 2.00mm needles need some sanding and reshaping.  That brought me to a halt, and I just haven't started going again.  I know I will be finishing these socks, and I will be knitting many more, but for the moment, it is a sockless summer.

I did get some good news yesterday.  I have been accepted by the local college into the Library Technician program there.   It is a two year day program, and I will get some credit for the course I have finished as well as the one I am currently taking.  This is a really good thing.  I needed the boost in my moral, which has been flagging.  I also need the training to get a position so that I can be the major bread winner in my family.  I want to be able to support my youngest daughter and myself, should anything happen to my husband, and I want to build a life for myself.  Who knows what will really happen, but I am not looking at the darker side of things today, and that is a really good thing!

Now, I am off to finish clue 6 of MS3, and start the Bee Fields Shawl.  The kit  (check the kits in the online store section) arrived yesterday, and I am itching to knit it.

Birthday Meme

I found this on Adventures in Sock Knitting and thought I would give it a try.

The deal is that you go to Wikipedia, look up your birth day, and then post 3 events, 2 births, and a holiday.

14 December

Events

1542 - Princess Mary Stuart becomes Queen Mary I of Scotland.
1782 - Montgolfier brothers first balloon lifted on its very first test flight.
2006 - An enquiry into the death of Diana, Princess of Wales concludes that she was not murdered.

Births

1503 - Nostradamus, French astrologer (d. 1566)
1895 - King George VI of the United Kingdom (d. 1952)

Holiday

R.C. Saints - Memorial of Saint - John of the Cross

Not many holidays happen on the 14th of December.

Summer of Socks?

I planned to go to town knitting socks this summer, but have been off to a very slow start.  I have tennis elbow in my right arm which seems to be getting worse with the way I hold the needles to knit.  The monkey sock that I am working on is not turning out all that well.  I blame the ancient superwash Trekking for that.  (It can't be me!)  SO I think I might just leave it at the moment.  I cast on some Tofutsies for the Mountain Peek [sic] Socks in color 726 (One Foot in Front of the Other).  I can only knit a few rows at a time, but I am hoping that I can keep my arms from bothering me too much by knitting in short stints during the day.

The Mystery Stole has been progressing nicely.  (New clue today!)  I am knitting it on straight needles so it hasn't been as much of a strain on me, but I am beginning to wonder if this project isn't what has made my elbow worse.  I know I knit most of the last clue in one sitting, pushing on through pain.  I am doing this in Ebony Zephyr with no beads, and it is looking fantastic.  Melanie has once again creted a beautiful pattern.  This is the third stole of hers that I have knit.  Although I didn't finish the first one (I am about halfway through), it is one I do plan to finish.  I highly recommend her patterns.  If you weren't able to jump onto the bandwagon, the pattern will be available for purchase in the fall.

Our household has become home to 3 kittens (6 weeks old today!)  These  3 little boys think that I am their adoptive mom, and spend a lot of time trying sleep on me or play with my knitting.  They are terribly cute.

Summer of Socks 2007

I have finished the two pairs of socks that have been sitting around here waiting for my attention, so now I can start on a pair for SOS!  What to pick?  I have several patterns that I have wanted to knit for a long time.  Now is the time to pair up some yarn and patterns and get to work.  Sure beats mowing the lawn!

The more things change...

I am unemployed again.  This time I quit.  I can endure almost anything, however, I will not put up with management sanctioned bullying.  Especially when the manager seems to think I deserve it, and when the person bullying is a self righteous jerk who could be my son.  In some ways it is too bad.  It wasn't a job I loved, but I did learn to enjoy it quite a bit.  I worked hard enough to wear myself out, and I got to know and enjoy many of the customers.  I even liked my boss.  I just cannot work for someone who cannot stick up for their employees.  So, life goes on.

I am currently knitting Kiri in Patons Classic Wool Merino, worsted weight, dark natural mix colour.  I want a warm shawl, and this looks like it will fit the bill.  Each row takes forever right now though.  It is bizarre that the rows seem longer when knit with worsted weight versus lace or fingering.  It must be psychological.

They could be twins!

Another "not really knitting related" post.  Take a look at Dave's cat Muushuu (scroll down right to the end).  And here is an old picture of our male cat Konan.   Yes, it is a little small, but can you see the similarities?  This cat is my Wal-Mart greeter.  He has to know everything that is going on in the house at all times, and he has to inspect all things.  His other passion is to see how far he can push his sister (litter-mate) before she screams at him.  There is quite a bit of sibling rivalry there.

Moving on is Healthy, Right?

I am starting a new job today!  (The exclamation mark is to try and bring my mood up.)  I was hired on Thursday at a local liquor store.  I truly am glad to have something to move on to.  I am really glad that they are willing to give me a chance and a job.  I am still mourning though.  I WANT to be positive.  This is not a long term job.  This is not a career.  This is a part time job to keep me from going stark, raving mad, and to give me a chance to see that the workplace can be fun.  It is totally different from any other place I have ever worked, except my best friend is the assistant manager.  (She had no hand in my hiring)  I need a break, and I need to move on with my life.

I started a new pair of socks the other night.  Using Opal's Flamingo colourway.  I tried several patterns for the leg, but it is just my plain vanilla sock now.  It looks good.  I often knit socks when marking a change or event in my life.  So this is my pink "Get a Life and Get Over It" pair.  Ariann is waiting for me to work on her a little more.  I might try a pair of socks with that pattern for the leg.  That is a thought.  First I need to finish a few of the projects that I have on the needles.  I need to stop buying needles because the ones I have are in projects that I have put aside.  What a concept!

Ariann

BLAH, I lost my last post!

I have restarted Ariann.  After reading through the KAL blog, I decided that my cast on was too tight.  I had never had that problem with the Cable cast on before, but maybe my knitting has changed with the dozens of socks I have cast on in the past few years.  So I used the long-tail cast on and kept on going from there.  It looks wonderful!  I added a buttonhole at the beginning of the pattern row because I don't really like the look without one.  (My 40-something body speaking?) I don't know if I will knit the belt either, but I will wait and see what I think at the end of the sweater.  Right now it is humming along.  The pattern is easy to keep track of, and is a pleasure to knit.  Another of Bonne Marie's successes!  I do need to learn how to knit buttonholes that look a whole lot nicer than what mine do.  Even my practice ones look nice.  On the sweater... not so good.  But from a galloping horse, I am sure no one will notice.  Now to get my FTP program reinstalled on this computer and I can show some pictures of this beauty, strange buttonholes and all!

The rest of my life is still rather frustrating.  Time is healing much of the anger issues, but the self-hatred is still quite strong.  I know there was nothing I could do.  I was targeted.  I showed a level of competence, ambition, and intelligence that the library management didn't want exhibited by their peons.    On the other hand, I can see what sparks my interest in library science, and although I am just working on my technicians diploma, I also want to develop expertise in a couple of other areas that will end up creating my own niche in that field.  Who knows if I will be able to get a job at the end of it all?

A real dream is that yarn stores would be a lucrative business around here.  I would love to be able to spend time playing with different yarns, and fibres, having the time to knit and spin, and talk to customers and just love what I was doing while making a living wage.  Talking to local yarn store owners has convinced me that this is a starry eyed dream that could have me committed.  So for now, I am going to work towards completing my studies, keep knitting as a hobby, and perhaps one day, discover that I am HAPPY!  What a concept that would be!

I never have luck with avatars.  This was a fun one to make though.  It would be super if the horoscope would come true.  I can dream, right?

Bravado doesn't always cut it

Despite the bravado of the last post, I am edging ever closer to the cliff face.  Bravado doesn't help me sleep at night, nor does it shut my mind up and allow me to focus on getting my life back together.  It makes me feel stronger, and then stupid, and then just allows all the questions to come pouring back into my monkey mind.  I know I am depressed, yet I cannot stand being alone, and I really cannot stand being around others.  I rely on tiny white pills to help me to sleep.  At last count, 6 didn't help, but worked well with a glass of Baileys.

It was just a job dammit!  Why can't I get passed that?  Many people lose their jobs everyday.  Some have even made a career out of it.  I guess it is because it was my job and at one point I really loved it, and I hoped that the time would come that I would find that love again.   I even planned to make a career of library work, and was going to school towards that end.

I just want to curl up in a little ball and sleep.  I want to slash my arms to ribbons, revel in the pain and in the lessening of life force.  I want to hurt myself so much so that I can never feel pain again.  None of  those are real options, but they don't stop me from craving them.

I know this is a really down post, and wouldn't normally post it to this site.  However, I also know that nobody ready my pithy writings, so  I am  safe from offending anyone's delicate sensibilities.